Self-Respect
Self-respect is the man's settled refusal to permit conduct — by himself, toward himself, or toward those in his care — that he would not respect in another man.
It is not pride. Pride elevates the self above others. Self-respect simply refuses to let the self fall below a standard the man holds in general. Without it, the man cannot honor anyone — because the self he is honoring others with has no honor of its own.
What Self-Respect Is
The standard the man holds himself to.
The conduct he refuses, both in himself and from others toward him.
The reason he does not absorb mistreatment as if it were normal.
The internal floor below which he will not fall, regardless of incentive.
The Internal Layer
Self-respect also governs how the man treats himself.
The man who feeds himself slop, sleeps poorly, neglects his body, indulges his worst impulses — does not respect himself, regardless of what he claims.
His conduct toward his own body, mind, and spirit reports his actual self-respect.
This is one reason discipline is morally weighty. It is one of the operational forms of self-respect.
How You Allow Others to Treat You
Self-respect is reflected in what the man tolerates.
The man who respects himself does not accept being treated in ways that violate that respect.
This is not arrogance. It is calibration.
How you allow others to treat you is a measure of how you treat yourself.
Self-Respect vs. Self-Esteem
Self-esteem — how the man feels about himself.
Self-respect — how the man treats himself and what he allows.
The first is mood. The second is structure.
A man can have shaky self-esteem and intact self-respect — he still meets his standard even when he doesn't feel great.
The reverse is also possible — high self-esteem with no self-respect, the man feels great about a self that is being treated poorly by him.
When Self-Respect Is Tested
When the man is offered something that violates his standard but is appealing.
When acceptance of mistreatment is socially expected.
When the cost of holding the standard is real.
When no one else will know whether he held or folded.
The standard either holds or it does not. The man either has self-respect or has been performing one.